Your reality check for Monday (revised)

[Revisions to the original post are in brackets.]

[NOTE: If you are concerned that I am arguing against a person’s right to say no to unwanted sex – I am not. To put it in context – go here.]

Your Reality Check for Monday – A Rant

[The day this was first released happened to be a Monday. I was feeling really angry, so consider that fact while reading.]

WARNING: Do not read if you dislike profanity. You have been warned.

I’m feeling extreme white-hot hate towards female refusers of attractive men. Fuck those child-obsessed, house-obsessed, pious prissy bitches up the ass with a splintery flagpole.

Men, get a fucking clue. If a woman won’t fuck you, she doesn’t love you.

[You may or may not understand this aspect of female behavior. Here’s a lesson in female psychology.]

[If your wife or female lover is very rarely willing to have sex], don’t listen to her lying bullshit about a more “mature” kind of love or a “sanctified” love. When tefusers say things like that, they really mean, “The best you can hope for is that I love you like a brother. And nobody sane fucks their brother.”

Female refusers don’t really love their husbands at all, they love their husbands’ pay checks.

I hope every single one of them gains 100 pounds, develops a truly crustaceous skin problem, and that their vaginas smell so bad that you need a gas mask to be in the same room with them.

In plain English: if she won’t fuck you, she doesn’t love you. End of story.

I hate those bitches that men complain about, but for some unknown reason end up with and stay with. What the hell is so special about them? What do they have that I don’t have?

Guys, you could have somebody like me! Women who would gladly have sex with you DO exist. Most of us are in relationships with male refusers. (More on male refusers later.)

Oh, refused men. If, when you were younger, you had married somebody like me in the first fucking place, you wouldn’t be in this mess now. But no. The women like me weren’t good enough. We were too easy. We deprived you of your precious chase. By loving you, being willing to give love with our bodies, and being impatient with gameplaying, we lost you to the refuser bitches.

Only it’s really YOUR loss, because now you are trapped with a woman who does not love you and will not have sex with you.

Well, guys, it’s like I’ve said before – if she’s playing hard to get, she DOES NOT WANT YOU.

If she won’t fuck you, she doesn’t love you. I can’t say it enough.

If these fucking refusers would just tell the truth in the first fucking place, everybody would be better off.

Here are some examples of what female refusers really [mean when they say they “love” you.]

A – All my sorority sisters got big huge engagement rings and bridal showers and a big fancy wedding with a beautiful dress and bridesmaids. I want one too!

B – I am ruled by my uterus and exist only to breed. My brain is totally superfluous. And once my uterus has been satisfied, I won’t need to have sex any more. Sucks to be you.

C – I’m on the rebound. Somebody else broke my heart – you gave me the TLC I needed – you fell for me and got serious – and I was so wounded I went along with it. But my broken heart is mending now, and I’m having trouble pretending you turn me on.

D – I’m within 10 years of menopause, so now I get to gain weight and use sickness as an excuse to get out of doing anything I don’t want to do – which includes sex. I never loved you to begin with, and I only married you because of reason A, B, or C above.

What’s that? There are medical treatments for the symptoms of menopause? Oh, but that’s not NATURAL. I don’t want to put those nasty icky chemicals in my precious body! (Note: if that’s the case, see if she’s willing to give up her unnatural car and her unnatural computer.)

Oh, and speaking of icky and nasty – no, I’m not going to do oral! That’s for those sluts who really loved you before you dumped them for me. I’m a good, sanctified, respectable *wife*, and we don’t do nasty icky oral. The very thought makes me think I will puke.

Male refusers aren’t off the hook either. We women are suckers for love. And we’ve been taught to believe that the man does the pursuing. So if a man doesn’t pursue us, if we are smart, we conclude that he’s not interested and we go away quietly and don’t bother him.

Now, if we are single and allowed to date – this isn’t the end of the world.

If you’re a single woman and a man is lukewarm towards you, you can look for other guys. If you’re married or in another kind of monogamous relationship, you’re stuck. You might as well be dead.

Here are some examples of what male refusers really mean [but don’t say]:

A – I couldn’t have the woman I really wanted, so I settled for you. But frankly, I find you extremely unattractive and I can’t even get it up by pretending you’re Pamela Anderson any more.

B – All the other guys my age are married and they have houses and yards and minivans and kids. They envy me, but they won’t hang out with me; and the older I get, the fewer non-gold-digger women will pay attention to me. Also, my parents are starting to wonder if I’m gay. So – I’m single; you’re single; we’re both lonely, and we both want to prove we’re [straight, and able to attract a mate.] So why not?

C – You used to turn me on, but I’m one of those men who gets bored with the same woman by about the fifth date. Sorry, I’m just not interested any more. (How did this guy end up married? See B above.)

D – My body is starting to crap out on me, and I’m ready to live like I’m 85 years old. Sex isn’t as good as having a good bowel movement and going to bed early after the 4:00 dinner special at Golden Corral.

What’s that? You’re only 50 years old, you look 40, and act 35? Too bad. I’m ready to be an old man now. Why can’t you just settle down and be a nice old lady? My back hurts. I have a sinus headache. I do *not* need Viagra – I can’t talk to my doctor about that, [it would threaten my male ego!] And no, I’m not going to go down on you; Wheel of Fortune is on.

My refuser, in particular, belongs in this last category. I’m angry at him because he lied to me again last night. “It’s not over forever,” he said. Yeah, right. Bull-fucking-shit. I don’t believe him any more. Our sex life has been over for 6 fucking years. I won’t believe him unless I see him with an obvious boner and he practically tries to rape me at least twice a week for a year.

And you know what? Even if he did – it’s probably too late. I’m losing interest. See what I said a few paragraphs earlier – if a man pushes me away enough, I take the hint and stop bothering him. If I loved him, it hurts. But I do eventually get over it – and then I’m no longer interested in sex. Make me wait too long, and you lose, sucker.

Oh, and “I’ve got a new medicine,” he said. How is this medicine going to be any different from any of the other medicines? I felt like telling him to take his medicines and shove them up his ass – but I didn’t.

Posted by SmartKat at 09:35 on June 16th, 2014 at 9:35AM (updated Jun 16th, 2014)

This Blog Entry’s Comment Board (2 comments)

1-2 of 2 Comments


Posted on 11:07PM on Jun 17th, 2014

Your right, female refusers just don’t give a shit about the men in their lives, but they are comfortable and like the paycheck so why rock the boat? Plus, they would actually have to WORK for a living! But the men still stick with them! Why?

Because they were there first, the men are not really “happy” but they “owe it” to their wives? WTF?! Just because they got their first? They are owed nothing! If you are not loved, then fuck off!

Also, my refuser fit into category “D”, too. I feel your emotional pain. He was also a mater manipulator and turned into an emotional abuser. I took the hint when he turned up the heat on the emotional abuse (oddly, it was when I started working on myself to improve myself, when he thought I was going to leave him when I had no intentions of leaving at that time, I just wanted to be happier)…life is too short to live without love, intimacy, and SEX! You lose ASSHOLES…next!



Posted on 07:47AM on Jun 26th, 2014

Interesting… hmm… See I hear some of what you say here from a female refuser in my marriage right now but I’ve come to accept it


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Born, went to school, went to work, will die someday. Fluent in English, sarcasm, and profanity. Open-minded skeptic, INTP in the Myers-Briggs, 5-Investigator (or Observer) in the Enneagram, Sagittarius in astrology, Pitta/Kapha in the Ayurvedic system. Likes: Music, books, reading, paid time off from work. Dislikes: Authoritarians, micromanagement, illogic, and asparagus.

2 thoughts on “Your reality check for Monday (revised)”

  1. (a.k.a. Petrushka)

    crinkles at the edges of my eyes and apparently some tears of laughter, even if not a chair rocking, house shaking belly laugh.

    And that should read “6 no-fucking fucking years”! (10-12 for me now)

    I’m just waiting for one of those mystical women to come along who are into sex. Oh, and she has to be able to tie her own shoelaces and keep up her end of an intelligent conversation. The emotional socket is ready and waiting for installation. But those … well they seem to be in very short supply around here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha, I feel your pain, brother! I’d love to meet a man with a good vocabulary who eats with a fork and is willing and able to be sexual about twice a week.

      My refuser has two out of three qualities. The only other man who interests me in the least is married to a harpy who holds his kids hostage. It has been pointed out to me that I’m not making the effort to meet single men. But – I’m not really free to date yet. I haven’t ruled out outsourcing, but if I do it, I’d rather be unable to resist my feelings for someone I already know. Actively looking for someone seems so cold-blooded. That would be premeditated outsourcing.


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