Deep down inside, I don’t think it’s bad or wrong that I love with all my heart, or that I like sex. It’s just the way I’m wired.
You hear so many men whine about how their wives don’t want sex – you would think they would want a woman like me. If logic had anything to do with it, they would ignore the frigid women and go for women like me.
Maybe it’s true that they’re addicted to The Chase™, and I make it too easy for them.
But I suck at extended game-playing. I play the game as long as I can stand it, but sooner or later, I want to stop the bullshit and just get to the point. So I end up being honest, and it’s not always fun.
Playing hard to get and game-playing in general are not sustainable. There’s no way I could maintain that as a way of life, in a long-term relationship.
It would mean I would never feel comfortable being my real self with the man, showing my feelings, telling my truths.
I think I deserve better than that. And – honesty time – I think if a man loses interest in me once he knows how much I care – he is missing out.
Maybe he wouldn’t be getting the challenge of The Chase™ anymore. But instead, he would be getting my acceptance of his imperfections. It would mean he would no longer have to play games and pretend to be someone he’s not. It would mean he could relax with me, and tell me what’s really hurting him, and what his deepest needs are. Of course, a lot of men are scared of that. They can’t even admit to themselves what they really want and need.
The right man for me would be intelligent, funny, able to keep up with me, able to handle me without hurting me, mischievous, and have a high sex drive. Those are the things I want in a man.
For whatever reason, I was cursed; but so were a lot of people. I think all the wrong people are coupled up together. If I was dictator of the world, every five years I would call time on all relationships – and if the people in them wanted to switch with somebody else, they could do it without repercussions. (Of course, it wouldn’t be mandatory – if people wanted to keep the same partner, they could.)
Anyway – on some level, I know that I’m not really “easy,” and that it’s not a character flaw to be unable to play games and sling bullshit indefinitely. On some level, I know that my longing to cut through bullshit and be straight with people can be an asset. I just wish that the right man would see it that way.