Sex and Love in the Postmodern U.S.

Everybody is still just as confused as ever.

In the 50s, there was this icky-innocent atmosphere.  Girls who wanted and liked sex were considered bad, so nobody would admit to it.  Then in the 60s, the sexual revolution came along, and all of a sudden everybody was supposed to want it all the time and enjoy it every time.  People who, for whatever reason, weren’t enjoying it, wouldn’t admit it.

Then the 80s came along, and between AIDS and the right-wing ruination of life in general, sex got just plain weird.  I was a teen then, and the adults were trying to paint that 1950s varnish back over us.  But if you paint varnish on something, you need to wipe it off first.  We still had all those sex-positive messages we’d absorbed as little kids in the 70s, before puberty hit.  Even in my own family, the messages changed almost overnight.  One day it was, “I hope you’ll enjoy sex when you grow up,” and the next day, sex was never even mentioned.

Considering when I grew up and went through puberty and formed my own sexuality, it’s no wonder I’m confused and feeling a little crazy.

Originally posted by SmartKat at 14:42 on January 27th, 2013 at 2:42PM
5 Comments

justeasygoing

Posted on 12:55PM on Jan 28th, 2013
Yes I experienced the same things you did.Had a dad that first tried scaring me about sex,then wanted us boys to go get all we could then decided not to encourage anything to these days finding myself wanting to explore again.Confusing times.

SmartKat

Posted on 01:26PM on Jan 28th, 2013
Well, if you read some of my stories – I think my sexualization was a bit skewed. But I managed to make the best of it! [g]

justeasygoing

Posted on 01:37PM on Jan 28th, 2013
Ah yes I have been reading your stories,I would enjoy sharing a story of mine with you too.

harveyspecter

Posted on 02:13PM on Mar 15th, 2013
This is an interesting commentary. You bring up some great points. I’m the same age as you and I never got the sex talk until I was 18 and headed for college.

A bit late by then. I had had sex at 15.

heehoo1

Posted on 07:50AM on Mar 18th, 2013
That once again is an interesting view point , and then sometimes I wonder what  a lot of people claim to be doing it is actually happening for you to feel the way you feel or there are many who are in the same boat, but do not show or acknowledge that they are,……

I for one have enjoyed what I get and when I don’t get enough there is of course  the mind and ones own hand that helps keep sanity ,…..

But then going thru long periods of not getting it and then getting it regularly  followed by a few months of drought and then again some good moments of cloud and rain, with the same partner is different from not getting it altogether for several years,….

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SmartKat

Born, went to school, went to work, will die someday. Fluent in English, sarcasm, and profanity. Open-minded skeptic, INTP in the Myers-Briggs, 5-Investigator (or Observer) in the Enneagram, Sagittarius in astrology, Pitta/Kapha in the Ayurvedic system. Likes: Music, books, reading, paid time off from work. Dislikes: Authoritarians, micromanagement, illogic, and asparagus.

2 thoughts on “Sex and Love in the Postmodern U.S.”

  1. I’m a woman and when my sister was young I asked about her sex education in school (we’re from Australia) and she knew a lot about the mechanics of sex and no one had spoken to her about the emotions involved, etc. Also, she didn’t have practical understanding about how to put a condom on, how to get the Pill, etc – I wasn’t going to leave it all up to the knowledge and fumbling of a teenage boy. So I showed her how to put on a condom and we talked about other forms of birth control. I wasn’t in any way pushing her to become sexually active, I just wanted her to have options and be able to protect herself. One of the best things I’ve ever done.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s insane the way we were not taught the things that are most important for us to know. How to protect our bodies, yes. But also how to protect our hearts. How to be a decent human being, not break other people’s hearts if we can avoid it – and just basic sexual etiquette. And if only we could allow our young people to discover their own bodies and their own senses and feelings – instead of simply making sure they fit into our culture.

      Liked by 1 person

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